If you read the “about me” page you will understand what i am(used to be) .
In my engineering days , when i really started growing up and understanding people, i used to be a very innocent person, a cry-baby , a person who would get easily offended not knowing the difference between “teasing” and “offending” .
When people used to link me up with boys and tease i would think that probably they find me character less.
When people used to tease me about my figure , i used to think that probably there is something wrong with my body or i appear overweight
When people used to pull my leg based on anything , i used to think that they really mean it and are telling it on my face. And i used to get deeply hurt and not be a keeper and reply back.
When guys used to come and propose me and if i talk to that guy normally(after rejecting) , people would think i was a slut
Despite of all i always had a smiling face, used to be very understanding, not answering back to anybody , bottling up all the things inside me .
Now this was till i got graduated. Once i came out and started working i automatically got that “matured girl” feeling and told myself that “You are a grown up now . Earning your own bread and butter! you know what you are and do not have to worry about anything what people have to say about you “.
Though all the above things people spoke about me continued , i never let it reach my ears. I used to be a happy-go person. I made lottttt of friends . I used to think that “Wow!!! i have grown emotionally so well!! no negative thing affects me in this world” . But the truth was no one used to come and tell it to me on my face and it all was in holes and corners.
So this was until i saw the real world of how mean people could be. When i saw how people can be judgmental and mean and how low people can go in defaming a person ; i retracted from myself. i went behind the mask . I started fighting with my inner self between expressing and non-expressing. If i express i will come out as a rude, immature girl. If i do not express i keep everything inside and torture me. Letting it out or ignoring was not an option at that time. This affected me to an extent where it felt like i was pushed to the rock bottom only to bounce back with greater force ..
Honey, I will tell you . It will be a lie if i say that i have grown up a lot that no negative comment affects me in life . But i definitely have changed , made peace with a lot of things. Have accepted the fact that people’s job is to comment or dig any negative image from what you project. That’s okay.. It affects me a teeny-tiny way somewhere , but not to make me feel offended or cry or feel bad. Because i know that i am a good person. I never judge any body nor pass any negative comment , because i am not interested. It doesn’t matter to me how people lead their lives. It doesn’t matter to me who is dating whom or who sleeps with whom !! Everyone has a different way of finding happiness in life. Good and bad are all relative in life. Something that is good to me might be bad to you and vice versa. So who am i to comment on your life proceedings!!
People still come and continue to do all of the above said or even meaner , but i be a keeper ,shun all of them , give them a piece of my mind and forget and forgive them even before they seek 😛 I do not want to have anything negative about anybody in my mind or heart. Because life for me is too short and world is too vast , to take unnecessary interest in people’s life or get hurt for something which one or a group of people told about me out of 7,600,000,000 people in this world. And my voice is too big to limit it to just bitching or passing negative comments or judge anybody.
Don’t Give a damn about anybody’s negative opinion about you because every one has skeletons in their closet. Just someone’s is buried deeper than the others.
Inspiration to this post : My colleague(A guy!!!! Really? **thinking** I wonder why a guy would do that . Scientifically a guy’s brain is not designed to bitch ..hmmm.. anyway!!! ) who thought i was a bitch and did spread all negative things about me..
Image courtesy : Google
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